My Weekend in Hawaii

Hey Fam!

As most of you know, I was recently in Honolulu, Hawaii about two weeks ago. In recent videos on my YouTube channel I’ve expressed my visa’s requirements to travel and renew my allowance into the country of Australia since I’m currently here. It’s been an insane process but I’ve learned so much about myself and my own strength during it all. My initial reason to visit Hawaii was to meet my children, who were in California with their father until their passport applications cleared and thought it would be best to meet them halfway in Hawaii instead of my going all the way to California, and turning right around. 

My Weekend in Hawaii Within My Own Mind

I just have no desire to be in my home state right at this moment, despite me missing it all at once. We made the most of our weekend in Hawaii and it was an insane reunion. I missed my kids terribly and missed being able to tend to them, hang out with them, teach and guide them, which is my absolute most proud moment of my life, is being the person they look up to the most. My partner joined me in Hawaii which made me  feel so loved, supported and happy. I… just really wanted that a lot and didn’t even have to really ask for it. 

Our weekend was very fulfilling. I was surrounded by beauty, delicious new foods to try and become inspired by, and of course, my family. Although it was a bit stressful trying to pull off meeting the kids halfway from halfway around the world, it also made me realize how incredibly hard my partner and I have worked to make our relationship happen in a healthy and balanced manner. It definitely is challenging. I’ve been traveling back and forth from around the world for my family, and have taken the journey itself under my wing and allowing myself to grow more inspired to story tell. 

While it’s easy to rely on your loved ones, or ones you wish loved you the way you need for your happiness, during this process I learned to rely on myself for happiness, not my partner, not my children, not my circumstances. I have stripped myself down to the bone these past couple of years and was in the most miserable state of my life. I hid it for the most part from you all because I wanted to focus on creating content and making others happy, but in that process I’ve learned that it’s okay to not be happy at times as long as you force yourself not to feel hopeless. 

My family should reflect how good I feel about myself, and I should do that for them as well. My job as a parent, spouse or friend isn’t to paint this picture of a perfect life while others spectate insecurely; my job, my purpose in life is to photograph the beauty and the perniciousness that what life forces down our throats. So, while I was in Hawaii for a short weekend, I had an aesthetically and vain surface experience, but I also had a really deep and meaningful one as well. I had been wanting time to speed up for so long so I could be with the one I trusted after closing myself off for so long, and ran away across the world to do so. To take a chance, and then I fought so my kids could join me, partake on this amazing journey and feel secure and healthy. 

I look back now, and although I am sad at times that my life had to really decay to it’s core in order for it to be built back up, I look back at the old Amby and see a miserable girl trapped in a body she hated, trapped in a relationship that she feared and surrounded by people who only responded to her texts or phone calls when they needed something from her. 

This new Amby, this new woman who’s finally feeling like a woman and no longer a girl, doesn’t care anymore or need anyone’s approval to feel secure. I had to rely on myself in a survival mode for such a dreadfully long time and in that process I learned to become my own best friend, but I still continued to betray myself with dark, almost bleak at times thoughts. Now, I feel centered and mature. 

My Weekend in Hawaii Within My Own Mind

So, this is what I learned about myself in Hawaii. I’m sorry that this isn’t another post or video showing off all the super cool stuff. I honestly had that intention but I have no idea where my writing ends up at times. I will however leave a link to one of my Hawaii Vlogs for you guys to check out if you haven’t already. 

 This is what really went on in my mind, and my intention isn’t to “share my story”,  my intention is to help pull your story out of your own heart. Your life is too short and too precious to spectate. I spectated for so many years with this burning hopelessness in my heart to be my true self. I relied on the moods of other people to define my own feelings about myself which left me bitter, angry, heartbroken and confused. That tiny voice however, always pinched at my heart. It always told me, you deserve to make yourself happy. 

 

Love,

Amby 

Hello Kitty Cafe Experience Sacramento California

Hello Kitty Cafe Experience

Hello Kitty Cafe Experience? What? Food? Kawaii things? When? Where? I recently attended the Hello Kitty Cafe event in Sacramento and was super excited to be a part of this experience since I run a curation/recipe/food blog dedicated to Hello Kitty. It was the perfect opportunity and I left with a ton of really awesome surprises which have given me a lot to write about on EatHelloKitty.

Hello Kitty Cafe Experience

Some people had to wait in line for about 3 hours. I felt bad for the children who attended the event since it was so hot and sunny out that morning. I kind of wish the staff would’ve offered water (they did charge everyone $3 for this bow water so maybe that counts)  and perhaps parasols or something to keep everyone cool, but what are you going to do? I was pretty shocked at the turnout to be honest but, it IS Hello Kitty and she is kind of a big deal. Still, no mascot of her *cries* but the staff were all extremely friendly and even gave me some extra stickers YUS so that makes up for no Hello Kitty mascot. I loved their pink chef’s coats too and was kinda jelly since I’ve never had the opportunity to wear a pink chef’s coat… just black or white ;-; 

Hello Kitty Cafe Experience

I loved spotting a few lolita in the crowd and some older eccentric women kept touching my hair. I felt flattered but violated. Why do us Americans insist on touching each other so much? I didn’t take photos of random people because it’s kinda rude so you’ll have to take my word for it. There were a lot of colorful characters in the crowd though and I enjoyed seeing everyone sport Hello Kitty merch, unlike me, because I was running on 3 hours of sleep and grabbed the first shirt I could find in my closet after hopping out of the shower… which was Pokemon. -_-  Ignore those stupid tortoise glasses. They’re temp until my black frames arrive.

Hello Kitty Cafe Experience

I think out of every item I got to try, my favorite was this tangerine macaron. Most of the confections were kind of bland to be honest, but at least they were handmade. I have a full review here. What’s more important is the experience and opportunity I had AND I was able to bring along my children. Fun blogging events is something they look forward to since they’ve had a lot of amazing opportunities thanks to me blogging over the years so it means a lot to me to be able to include them.

Hello Kitty Cafe Experience

As you can see the menu is pretty simple, and it’s understandable since the staff was hard at work catering to a couple thousand people from 10 a.m – 8 p.m which is insane, but it was so lovely to see so many happy people and despite me not being that big of an extrovert, seeing so many smiling faces really made my heart happy and kind of inspired me to try to get out more because trust me, I don’t. I know blogging again on a new platform will contribute to that for sure and I’m looking forward to new adventures.  If you’d like more information on when Hello Kitty Cafe will be in your metropolitan area, please follow them on Instagram

 

amby-signature-blogs