How to Forgive

Most of us have someone in our life at whom we’re constantly at battle with on the emotional spectrum. We love to hate them, and hate to love these people. But how do you forgive? Forgiveness is a rusty, two-edged blade. We claim to forgive those who betray us by allowing them in our lives, and pretending to forget that which they’ve done. Just to turn around and hurt them in order to numb our own feelings, then remind them of how much they’ve screwed us up. 

Nothing good comes out of this method. Just more pain, more heartache, more animosity and an influence to others who are younger and observant that it’s okay to hurt and be hurt. So what do we do in order to break that dark pattern? How do you exactly forgive? I feel like in order to truly forgive someone, you have to forgive yourself first. This is a very generic quote that more often than not is overlooked, ignored and passed off as decent. 

It’s so much easier to tear someone else who has hurt us apart to the point where we thrive off of it, and it becomes our life force and the foundation of who we are. It’s easier when you aren’t the one who has to collapse on your knees covered in humility. But when we finally decided to face ourselves entirely in our own mental mirror, and subject our own being to this same abuse, is when we can finally heal and forgive others whom we blame for creating this monster from within. 

When you strip yourself down to nothing, and rebuild yourself into something without any instruction, THAT is the process of healing. When the person who was once the lead role in your life repeats their history and you face them without any condescending egotistical self gratification gift wrapped as empathy and feel no pity for yourself is when you truly can say you have forgiven. 

Forgiveness isn’t about projecting our own feelings onto others, or anointing ourselves as noble for it. There is no point in recycling garbage if it’s going to be turned into more garbage. It’s counter intuitive. 

You can move on once you decide you can move on from yourself. 

What I Learned After My 30 Day Positive Vibes Challenge

Hey Fam! You may remember me posting and vlogging about taking a 30 Day Positive Vibes Challenge last month. It was quite an experience and I’m really happy I went through with it. Each week was a discovery of new ways to heal, grow and take accountability. By the end of this challenge I had learned how to process my feelings toward others I was angry at in a more productive fashion, and feel like I am ready to let go of resentment, anger toward those who have hurt me, and forgive myself for hurting others. 

What I Learned After My 30 Day Positive Vibes Challenge

By the 3rd week I did a lot of self reflecting, and it sucked. I stopped hyper-focusing on what everyone else did wrong, and concentrated on my own wrong-doings. I mourned over not managing my feelings properly and for lacking sensitivity toward others I have hurt a lot. Taking accountability is very hard when forced to accept those feelings. It’s easy to preach accountability, but difficult to take action from a true emotional standpoint. 

During this process, I continued to focus on self-forgiveness. Often I’ve felt like a victim because I’ve had such an unstable family, experienced child and domestic abuse from a physical and emotional standpoint, and although I have declared that it isn’t the foundation of who I am, it really is, subconsciously. Shutting out people who have betrayed boundaries or trust is what I do best. I forgave not only those in my past who have hurt me, but myself for hurting them and others. 

I love myself and am no longer living in fear of ridicule from anyone. I lived in fear from others that I left behind up until recently. It took a dreadfully long time for me to invite trust back into my life with my new partner, and even a couple of people online I truly consider my friends now. 

I refuse to live in fear or expect others to fail me. Who the hell am I anyway?  Yes, I am an awesome person, but also flawed. I’ve always expected others to treat me like I treat them; be the friend that will hop in their car and drive to your rescue knowing you’d never do the same in return, the spouse who continues to forgive despite history repeating itself, the daughter who has been disowned for the most random and sporadic reasons, the niece who is ignored because gossip holds more power than her own word… I can go on, but I wont. Bottom line, I am and always have been nobody’s daughter, and lived with a fake smile on my face for a long time and allowed the unhappy moments to dictate my present life. 

I forgive myself for this as well. I forgave myself for allowing my life to be determined by the judgement of others, when they have failed to express compassion toward me. I forgive myself for hurting them with my actions, words and passive aggressiveness. I’ve always made bad choices in response to others hurting me, and I’ve always felt horrible for it. 

Now, it’s time to move on. I accept that I have this new dynamic, and if trust is betrayed, I will be fine. I won’t act so high and mighty or god-like as if anyone owes me an explanation for their poor choices. I am also at peace with not allowing people to come and go as they please in my life or to treat me like I’m better off dead. 

So, during this 30 Day Positive Vibes Challenge, I have learned to truly love myself, and to get my shit together. I can exercise, eat healthy and meditate all I’d like, but without facing my own faults and forgiving myself for them, there is no point. There is no point in baking the best chocolate chip cookie on the planet if you’re destined to dip it into spoiled milk. That was the worst analogy in the fucking world but I’m going to accept that I suck at this. 

I am flawed, but I’m loyal to those who treat me properly. I have a wonderful new life and I didn’t get her by chance. I made it happen. I fought hard, mourned, lived in fear, and depleted myself in every area possible to be where I am today. I will continue to live in the moment, appreciate the beautiful new relationships in my life, and embrace the new dynamic I have with those who matter the most to me. 

I sincerely wish the same for you. Life is insanely short, and I will say, although it sucks so much and you die inside when you make dramatic changes in your life, you start to slowly become reborn into someone better. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to forgive yourself and set a good example for others to follow. I feel happy without depending on anyone else to make me feel happy. I relied on my partner and even my kids for a while for my happiness, but now, it is easier to rest easily and be alone with my thoughts. The urge to turn negative is still there, but it’s much weaker than it ever has been in my 33 years of living. 

30 Day Positive Vibes Posts 

The 30 Day No Smack Talking Challenge – Here 

First 24 Hours of Positive Thinking Toward Others – Here

Day 2 of Positive Thinking Toward Others – Here

Day 3 of Positive Thinking Toward Others – Here

 

 

How To Motivate Yourself to Workout

Hey Everyone, as many of you know by now, I’ve been on this 30 Day Positive Vibes Challenge, and I’m in the last week of this new journey. During this time, I’ve been motivated to exercise again. I thought it would be great to share a few quick tips on How To Motivate Yourself to Workout. I hope this information helps you like it has me. 

How To Motivate Yourself to Workout

No Tunnel Vision 

We get stuck in the cycle of thinking about the end result; I want to be thin and wear nice clothes. This is the worst thing I could’ve done for myself. Although I still want to look trim and wear cute clothes, I am hyper-focused on how I feel. Taking better care of your physical health is a chain reaction to everything else in your life in my experience. I feel happy mentally because I feel happy physically. Not because a few people tell me I look good. 

Post Workout Bliss

I love how I feel after a workout. I’m able to relax after a cool shower, some chocolate coconut water and comfy pajamas. When I DON’T workout, I feel like a blob when I do these things. That buzzy feeling is what I live for. 

Motivated to Eat Well

I tend to make smarter dietary choices when I’m exercising. When I don’t, I don’t beat myself up for it. I’ve been slowly adjusting my diet and keeping it all balanced. Too often we make choices then force ourselves to fail, then mentally lecture ourselves for it. How does this make any sense? 

A Little is Better Than None

Not in the mood to workout today? Go for a quick walk, do some yoga, stretch, anything! Do some push-ups during a commercial break. A little bit of TLC is better than not getting up off of your ass and making changes. Little steps turn into long runs. 

Happy Body Happy Mind 

Our minds and bodies work cohesively. If you don’t know how to fix your mental health, then fine tune your physical health. I’ve benefited tremendously from this. I am waking up from a really horrible past two years of my life. I worked out in order to cope with it and it was vital for me to have exercise as an outlet. I couldn’t control anything else going on in my life, so I took control of my body and lost about 60 lbs. 

It’s Never Too Late

It doesn’t matter how old you are or what shape you’re in. I see so many people make excuses for why they’re still obese, and I personally refuse to join in. I take accountability for my extra floof but I’m not going to beat myself up for it. I may have missed out on being in shape in my 20’s, but it doesn’t mean I have to live my 30’s that way. I also stopped working out consistently once I moved to Australia. I’m proud to say I haven’t put on any weight, but I could do better. Should have could have, blah blah. It’s in the past. Right now is what matters. 

I hope this information helps you reach your goals. Here are a few videos that cover some of my workout and mental health journey. Enjoy, fam! 

 

 

Days 4-6 of Positive Thinking Towards Others

Hey Fams! I have been really busy and a bit tired these past few days, so I am consolidating Days 4-6 of Positive Thinking Towards Others for you guys. I hope you don’t mind the quick rundown. I will say, that I have noticed a significant difference these past couple of days in how I handle or think reactively in general. 

Reactive Thinking

I have been side-stepping the automatic negative response in my mind when I see something that I disagree with, or don’t find amusing. Instead, I simply ignore it, or feel nothing at all. It’s been nice. This isn’t something that happens every single time I’m faced with this scenario, but it is becoming almost second nature and I like it. 

I get a few crazy comments on my YouTube videos. Before, I’d get pretty annoyed and feel a bit down because I genuinely want people to love my content. Although I’ve always been aware that you can’t please everyone, I struggled with applying that concept to my own content creating, or anything creative in general. It’s becoming a bit easier to deal with. 

People 

Before, I would’ve classified these people as toxic people, but I’m not going to do that today. I want to just see people for who they are; my equals. They are individuals whom I used to feel intimidated by a great deal, and irritated by when they’d insult, lecture, belittle me. Now, I try to see past it. I feel more assertive and strong for standing up for myself and for no longer needing reassurance from the wrong people. I simply will continue to do the best that I can for myself and for those whom I’m responsible for, and that is that! I choose to be happy. 

Managing Negative Emotions

Sometimes, life is very stressful. Sometimes, it feels like the big obstacles never end, and it brings me to tears. I find myself crying into my pillow hysterically then feeling like an idiot afterward. I used to feel weak, foolish and ashamed for my feelings, but having this happen to me recently, I just allowed myself to process those feelings fully, and instead of holding onto the fact that I’m this weak crybaby who throws closet tantrums due to the big bad world (it is pretty big and bad at times), I just get over it and refuse to let it ruin the rest of my day. Before, a bad moment would mean the whole day is shot. This time, a bad moment meant, I needed to process a lot of overwhelming feelings and now I feel better. (It also helps to have a really sweet, kind and handsome man to hold you through it all though!). 

Mental & Physical Health

I have been having some stress-related health issues lately that I am tending to. I’ve done a lot of thinking this past week on how much I really need to take care of myself. Last year running and going to the gym was an amazing outlet for me, and since I’ve been in Australia, I’ve slacked off a lot. So, yesterday, I joined a gym and went for a run. I’m happy to report that I’m not as out of shape as I assumed either haha! 

As far as my mental health, I am still listening to Buddhist chanting, positive stuffs and all of those good vibes in bed with my headphones on. This helps my mind from wandering when it wants to, which is anytime I’m not being creative or entertained. I want to keep at it and continue to grow in these areas. I want to be able to gift my amazing kids with these tools so they may have success in dealing with stressful situations. 

Life is Beautiful 

No matter what you’re going through, try not to focus on the lack of. I know this is so stale sounding, and easier said than done, but hear me out! I have allowed the things I lack in life distract me from all that I have in abundance. I may not have a social life, or a really strong family who supports me when I need them, I may lack having a best friend who I can hang out with and do girl stuffs with, and perhaps I have a few stressful legal matters and people in my life who really don’t like me, but I DO have my creative spirit, my many talents, I have more than I need financially, which most of us do, we just refuse to see it that way and most importantly, I have two healthy children and a soon-to-be husband to die for. All of these things are amazing, and I want to focus on them. 

There is no point in focusing on the dead flowers in your garden and constantly complaining about them while the other flowers are continuing to thrive, but do need your attention. I know that was probably the worst metaphor in the world, but I never claimed to be perfect! 

I’ll leave now,

Amby 

Day 3 of Positive Thinking Towards Others

Hey Fam! I’m going to simply write a journal-type of blog post today, instead of breaking everything down in segments. My family is downstairs making pancakes for lunch without me so I want to get in on that family time! I did want to share some significant differences I experienced during Day 3 of Positive Thinking Toward Others. I woke up in a good mood, and I had that Buddhist chant I shared with you guys about in my head, which was really nice. I’ve been listening to a lot of chanting lately, and I really dig it a lot. For some reason, it speaks to me, and instead of me questioning my own judgement, I’m allowing myself to be free from that judgement. 

Day 3 of Positive Thinking Towards Others

I found it to be a little difficult to abstain from certain online activities yesterday. A lot of people I know get really worked up over politics and a part of me started to have negative thoughts toward them for it, but instead, I stopped myself and thought about what it was that I liked about them in the first place in which I’ve crossed paths with them. So, instead of focusing on the negative, I forced myself to think about the nice things I like about those individuals. I found it a little easier to abstain from YouTube comments as well, but noticed that anytime a negative thought crosses my mind, I automatically check the comment section to see if anyone else mentioned it first. I was already aware that I did this, but I wasn’t aware of how difficult it would be to dismiss these urges. 

I felt a little frustrated at home yesterday, and I found myself getting very overwhelmed over really mundane shit. I sometimes get fussy when my darling leaves a big mess after I’ve cleaned up. It’s been hard for me to express my feelings about this, because he is such a kind, caring, patient and extremely hard working man, so I want the energy of our home to be pleasant. However, we talked about it, then I started to throw a tantrum about how much I hate Australia since I’m homesick and miss Starbucks. How silly do I sound? I kinda stopped and laughed at myself a bit, and of course, my partner talked me through my feelings instead of putting me down. I took accountability for my feelings and even said, “and now I’m going to have to write about this”, since I vowed to be as honest as possible. 

The night ended and I felt very happy, and relieved, but also tempted to feel guilty for “failing”. I didn’t. I let it go because I have been working so hard during this past few days. That’s a big step for me since I’m always kicking my own ass, but I’m trying to be kinder to myself, and those of you who are also participating really inspire me to follow through with this, which I will be. 

Anyway, I hope you all have a wonderful day. I need to go see about a pancake. 

Yes, that was from Goodwill Hunting, sort of. I’ll leave now. 

Amby

 

RELATED ARTICLES

Blog Posts

First 24 Hours of Positive Thinking Toward Others

Day 2 of Positive Thinking Toward Others

Videos

30 Days No Smack Talking Challenge Video

First 24 Hours of Positive Thinking 

Day 2 of Positive Thinking Towards Others

Hey Fam! Thank you so much for the support, and for retweeting my previous post, First 24 Hours of Positive Thinking Toward Others. It meant a lot to me that even a handful of people wanted to help out in some way! It inspired me to write about Day 2 of Positive Thinking Toward Others, and although it was a bit of a rough day, I still managed to do my best, and continued to learn a lot about myself. I went to sleep with closure, and with a rested mind. It was a really interesting experience. 

Day 2 of Positive Thinking Towards Others

Meditation 

I meditated today. I didn’t chant, but I listened to others chanting. I may be new to this stuff, but I really want some insight on having a healthy mind and healthy body. I took time out to relax my mind and my body, something I don’t do enough of these days, but I put myself first and was proud of that. 

Communication

My partner is AMAZING! I mean it. He’s someone I celebrate as a human being, a friend and as my life partner. However, we all have our little personality flaws, and sometimes it’s hard for me to communicate my feelings, because I’m afraid to start a fight, then I hold everything in and explode. I don’t do this anymore, but I used to. However, I still hold things in then become a huffy puffy fuss pot as my darling calls me. 

I’ve been making a conscious effort to communicate any frustration when it’s happening, and taking some authority in that role. It felt really good, and I left the conversation feeling happy. I want to continue to exercise this with every relationship in my life. Most of those relationships to be honest are very difficult due to mental illness in others, or just bad history, but I want to continue to focus on myself, be fearless, honest and assertive. Things I really wasn’t before due to fear. 

Closure 

I’ve been allowing closure in my life lately toward those who’ve hurt me, and those whom I’ve hurt. This is so weird that after two days of major self reflecting that I’ve come to these realizations. I really took the time out for myself and decided, I’m ready to move on, and free myself of anger, guilt, fear and feeling defeated. It made me feel really happy and a bit empathetic to think about how I should forgive for myself, and forgive myself. 

Patience

Now, I know I joke and tease online, and come off as this impatient silly fussy pants. However, in reality, I’m a REALLY patient person when it comes to important stuff. When it comes to insignificant stuff, like gaming, I’m not. I personally abstain from abusing others while gaming, but being around it, or playing with people who aren’t cooperating can be frustrating. Last night I was playing a few rounds of Overwatch and it was a bit of a challenge to keep my mind from straying away and thinking negative thoughts about faceless people. I ended up only playing a few rounds then called it quits. I didn’t want to put myself in a position where I’d fail. 

 

So, although Day 2 was a bit of a struggle, I think  I accomplished quite a lot, and I hope you guys who are participating in this awesome 30 day challenge are doing well too! I’ll be sure to check in again about my progress! 

 

Love, 

Amby (D.Va voice) 

First 24 Hours of Positive Thinking Toward Others

Hey Fam! I have given myself a 30 day challenge to think only positive thoughts of others, or nothing at all. During this time period I am abstaining from negativity directed toward any other individual, whether I know them or not, in real life, or virtually. This includes news, YouTube drama, everything. The first 24 Hours of Positive Thinking Toward Others has been so fascinating and I’ve already learned a great deal about myself. 

First 24 Hours of Positive Thinking Toward Others

 

SELF REFLECTING

I have realized that I am often my own worst critic. Most of us know this already, but I have been FEELING it. I have this paradigm of restraint when it comes to anything that I could benefit from. For instance, I want everyone to read my blog and watch my YouTube videos. However, I’m always too afraid of what others will think, and often discontent with my own work, so I’m bashful about content creating, which I sincerely love. I plan on growing past this mindset during this process. I want to be as confident as possible, and know if I am more kind to myself, I will be. I’ve forgiven myself for my flaws and actions toward others, and plan on really loving myself unconditionally. 

I realized that I automatically think something negative about people who’ve hurt me, or people I find distasteful, instead of really seeing past things, healing from them, and when it comes to preferences, acknowledging that these people are probably great people in real life with similar flaws like most of us have. I would like to be kinder to others and less judgmental. Maybe then I can become more social and continue to step outside of my comfort zone. 

ASSOCIATION

I consider a small handful of individuals online my friends. These people have beautiful hearts, great sense of humor and we share common interests such as video games, music and content creating. However, I find myself more worried about the naysayers and what they think of me. I need to refocus my attention on those who matter, and pay less attention to the defensive chatter. When it comes to my home life, my loved ones probably could benefit from me being a silent listener more than a commentator on daily stresses and annoyances. 

HOBBIES

My hobbies, which include gaming and playing guitar/metal geek, are often critical. I’ve noticed that this energy spoils that which should be a lot of fun for me. So, I’m going to abstain from putting myself in the position where I’ll have to deal with hearing abuse between other individuals or anything directed toward me. If I vidya, I’ll simply disable mic options etc. I’ve done this on consoles, but need to on PC as well. It’s for the best. Gaming should be fun, and therapeutic. 

When I’m watching YouTube videos, I’ve been struggling with abstaining from controversy. I’m not one to thirst and thrive over drama, but sometimes I am curious about what’s going on with who and how. Today however, I’ve chosen to abstain from it, and remind myself that I could focus my energy on more productive videos. This includes abstaining from YouTube comments (not from my channel, since most are really nice), but on others that I know what to expect. 

SPIRITUALITY 

I didn’t cover this in my recent video, but I’ve been really interested in other’s spiritual practices. Those that deal with Cause and Effect, and The Law of Attraction. I’m really interested in changing my paradigm, and working from the inside out. This has been a really nice experience and I’ve been enjoying listening to others chant and hear about their stories of success in this matter. I hope to find a really interesting tool to add to my arsenal of Self Improvement. I’ve been listening to Buddhist chanting on repeat while I do my everyday chores and blog responsibilities. I bought Cosmic Connections Nam Myoho Renge Kyo chant which translates to Cause and Effect, and wishing harmony toward those around you, and tuning into your true potential.  I don’t know why, but this has been really speaking to me for the past two days. I’m sure I’ll find out why soon, but my goal is to focus on the present, not the future. 

SELF LOVE

As mentioned above, I plan on loving myself unconditionally. We all should to be honest. It’s just easier said than done and sounds silly when we’re stuck in a negative vortex. We don’t even realize it. I want to continue to fall in love with myself, work really hard toward my goals and tend to my mental and physical health. I want to be a powerful energy that draws people in, and help others be successful and overall happy with their lives. I want to motivate and inspire people. 

I’ll continue to update on posts and videos within  this experiment/series. I thank you all for your supportive words and for those of you who are joining in, I’m so happy for you and proud of you! Remember, if you slip up, it doesn’t mean you have to start over. It’s like weight loss in a way; one moment of weakness or indulgence doesn’t reverse all of the progress you’ve made thus far. So keep at it! I’ll be as candid as possible with my obstacles and discoveries during this journey. 

 

I love you all, 

Amby 

The 30 Day No Smack Talking Challenge!

Hey fam, as many of you know, from a recent video, I’ve been going through some crazy stuff lately, but have decided not to allow it to define me, and let the Universe refocus my energy onto something more positive. Obviously this means I have to do the work, not the Universe. I had this idea, I guess we’re calling it The 30 Day No Smack Talking Challenge lol and I know I’m not the first person to come up with this, but it came to my heart out of now where, to abstain from negative thoughts, conversation or conversation toward any individual, directly or indirectly for 30 days. I have this feeling in my heart that this will lead me to a new found perspective of not only myself and my own strength, but with others as well. 

I’m going to take you guys along with me on this journey, and will sporadically update you on my progress, what I’ve learned, and my progress. I am so excited and nervous too because a few other friends of mine have decided to partake in this self improving experiment, so now I am extremely determined to succeed, even if it’s difficult. I will be candid about times of temptation, but I promise I’m going to accomplish this, and I wish all of you the best of luck. I have no idea what it is, or why, but I feel like this is some sort of deeper calling. I know it may seem like a silly calling to many, but to me, I feel like it’s something I really need to do in order to move forward in my life, and hopefully be a powerful influence on my kids, and hopefully others. I know I love to surround myself with people online who are kind, positive and honest. I want to be all of these things, even during my most difficult of moments. 

Thank you for believing in me. This is going to be a fascinating experience and I promise to be as open as possible. Oh, I also promise not to spam your YouTube dashboard or my blog with daily updates lol. I was thinking of weekly updates and such haha! I want to bulk up my blog with more Self Improvement content, and know that it’s a focus I need to tend to for others, along with myself. Anyway, I love you all and wish you all the best of luck. 

 

Positive Ways to Conquer High Stress

Hey Everyone! As some of you know, I’ve been having a REALLY difficult week. I’ll save the details (I talked a little bit about it in my recent vlog, but I wanted to share with you guys some of the positive ways I’ve been conquering high stress. I figure if I can help others during times of difficulty, that in itself is a great motivator to make smart choices! 

Positive Ways to Conquer High Stress

VENT ABOUT YOUR ISSUES

Don’t drain those around you, but vent to those you can count on. If you have nobody, either vlog, write (whether it be public or private), and just let out that stress. If you’re talking amongst others regarding your current events, try to abstain from gossip. I know… I know… and I am guilty as heck when it comes to this, but I really make an effort to focus on my feelings, instead of an opposing party’s feelings, actions or attitude. No matter what you do, they won’t change, so why even bother giving them the energy? Where will it leave you other than frustrated still? It’s best to vent about your current feelings. Yes, some may be curious, and I believe it’s appropriate to give a quick breakdown on what’s happening, but make sure you are focused on your current feelings and how you can overcome them. Trust me, you’ll feel much better. 

EAT HEALTHY

It’s so tempting to binge out on junk food, booze and for some people drugs. DON’T do this guys. I know, I know, feels good man! but that stuff isn’t going to contribute to you feeling better. You’ll only feel like shit the next day, or even same day if you’re very indulgent. If you want pizza, make a healthy one. Some whole wheat pita, a little olive oil, pasta sauce and cheese goes a long way guys! Drink ice cold coconut water, or something healthy and nourishing (I love chocolate coconut water. It’s hella good!) I try to abstain from copious amounts of caffeine when I’m stressed out, so I turn to healthier alternatives like iced green tea and chocolate coconut water. 

SPIRITUAL AF

I’m not a religious woman, but I am a spiritual one. Spirituality is about feeding your spirit with healthy stuff, positive affirmations, calming your mind and going to sleep happy at night. I’ve been getting into chanting lately, and it’s really been helping me fall asleep. I chant in my head so I don’t wake up my darling significant other, but I chant things that I wish were already my reality (I am the most successful blogger in the world”) etc. and it’s totally okay to be self absorbed in that manner. Obviously I’m not in competition with any fellow amazing bloggers, but I want to be the best in MY eyes, and strive for it. However, you gotta convince yourself that you are before you become. I’m a huge believer in that Law of Attraction (yes, I love both the book and documentary of  The Secret and recommend it to everyone). Listen to spiritual and soothing YouTube loops, feed your mind with calm and peace. 

 

DO WHAT YOU LOVE

What would you do if you could get paid for doing it for the rest of your life? What would you consider investing into if you already have/or had millions of dollars? Do that. For me, it’s blogging. If I won 200 million dollars today, I would still blog, make YouTube videos and venture into my creative avenues and expertise (I’m a professional cook and been playing the guitar for almost 2 decades). Do what you love guys. If you wish you were a famous singer, get your ass on YouTube and start singing, get a SoundCloud account, and dive into your passions and dreams. THAT is how it works. I cope by playing music, writing on my platforms and writing recipes. Now, I get to vlog as well and it’s amazing. Don’t be shy. Go for it. You’ve got this one beautiful life! 

TAKE A DAY OR TWO OFF

I don’t care if it means calling in sick, turning your phone off, and closing all of the curtains. You don’t need to check your mail right this second. Your health is important. You need to take time out for yourself and sometimes be selfish. We live in this world where we feel like we constantly owe everyone else an explanation. Yes, sometimes us taking time for ourselves means someone else will be inconvenienced. This isn’t a habitual mindset, and this advice should be taken sparingly. If you’re going through a time of grieving, a time of extreme stress, please take some time to yourself. The rest of the world will do just fine for a day or even a week. Put yourself first. Guilt free. 

It gets better

Remember that this will get better. Even tragedy gets easier to cope with. Scars from those wounds may always be there, but those wounds will heal. Just take care of yourself and shut the world out for a day or two, and take care of yourself. Don’t self wallow, don’t abuse your body, and please don’t abuse those around you. Just take time to know you are human, there is only so much you can handle and manage at once, and when you decompress you will be able to tackle those problems with a refreshed attitude. 

I sincerely wish you the best. You are obviously here because you are searching for advice, and I’m here to tell you, it will pass, and you will get through this and be stronger for it. I love you guys! 

 

Amby 

 

How to Gain the Confidence to Vlog in Public

Hey Fam! 

So, as some of you may know, I wanted to know how to gain the confidence to vlog in public, and expressed this a few times on my channel.  The thought of other people staring at me blankly, judging me, curious as to what I was doing terrified me. I already have a bit of a hard time speaking to people in public, but the more I work at it, the easier it has become. There is no easy solution to gaining confidence, but the best advice I can give you is to work towards it. Here are a few tips that will hopefully help boost your confidence in terms of vlogging in public. You can also subscribe to my YouTube channel for more advice on this, and hang out with me on this confidence-building journey of mine. 🙂 

 

Conquer the Negative Voice 

I can’t do it. I have social anxiety. People will think I’m stupid. I am stupid… these are all excuses as to why you are choosing not to move forward. I had isolated myself pretty dramatically during a really big bout of depression for a few years, and became so adjusted to my own company, that I no longer had the desire to communicate with others. It also contributed to me developing an almost debilitating and hopeless case of social anxiety to the point where I stopped attending blog events, and found it difficult to even order a bagel. I used self-checkout as much as possible and dreaded interaction with people I didn’t know. 

That was a stupid thing to allow myself to go through and all it did was hold me back. You will never tap into your full potential if you keep using your challenges as excuses. Challenges are no fun, they are challenging for a reason, but you’re better and feel more accomplished for just going for it and tuning out that stupid voice of self doubt. 

Start Small

I started to micro vlog/snapchat (@ambycakes84 btw) to help me adjust to public vlogging. It helped a lot. I started in intimate corners in public places. Outside in my neighborhood, the park where nobody was around, and then gradually started to micro vlog in super markets, then in touristy areas during my recent trip to Hawaii (I know you guys are sick of me talking about it but I learned so much there). 

Set a Date

Do it. Just go out and vlog. Make the date and don’t hold back. Go to the store, go for a walk, just vlog. Vlog about vlogging in public. Your audience is invested in you as well as the information you provide, so remember that. I’m personally learning that myself, and it inspires me to not let anyone down and to stick to what I say I want to do. If you have zero subscribers, just do it anyway, and cherish the few people who stop by your channel. Everyone starts out with zero subs, so remember that! I am still a small fry myself! 😀 

Be an Opportunist 

 Don’t worry about what others may think. Be respectful and mindful that others may not want to be on camera, but just vlog. Even if you have to whisper while you’re telling funny jokes at a fast food joint. Just start coming out of your shell. If others have a problem, it is their problem, and you aren’t that important. No, it’s true. Do you think that random stranger is going to give a shit about what you were doing 5 minutes after you are no longer in their range of sight? Most people don’t mean to be rude, they may be curious or perhaps inspired! I saw a few teenagers today at Westfield who seemed curious about what I was doing. Am I famous or something? Maybe they want to YouTube as well! Hey, and if someone stops and asks if you’re a YouTuber, you could tell them about your channel and make a new friend/subscriber. 

I hope you found this advice beneficial, and I sincerely wish you the best of luck. Feel free to leave your YouTube channel information in the comments, and tell me what you vlog about. I’d love to check your content out and help you grow! I feel really motivated and happy about battling these obstacles. Maybe it’s the Final Fantasy XV soundtrack I’ve been playing on loop for the past month… 

 

Love always, 

Amby