Self, SELF IMPROVEMENT

How to Be Your Own Best Friend

How to Be Your Own Best Friend

generic inspirational quote

Sometimes we find ourselves wishing everyone we’d run toward in their time of need would do the same for us, and more often than not you get a rude awakening that not everyone will have your back to your standards of loyalty. It can make a sensitive circumstance much more complicated and unhealthy as we tend to play out our current feelings about said people on repeat within our own minds. When those people only seem to come around when they’re digging for information on your life or asking for favors, no matter how close you are to them, it’s best to reevaluate your standards on who you allow in your life and how closely. 

I’m not suggesting you cut off all communication unless you know the relationship isn’t healthy, but maybe reel it in a bit and take each person for who they are and not for what you wish they could be simply because you’d be everything they’d need in a friend. 

I have been experiencing this recently and it’s quite frustrating. People who rarely give me the time of day are now very much so interested in sensitive details of my personal life and I’ve had to come to the harsh realization that it’s okay to be alone during these delicate times. We often glamorize the idea of having this loyal, tight bond of friends who we can spill our deepest and most darkest secrets to but that isn’t really an option for a lot of us. 

Your confessions and personal demons you purge to others will more likely than not be repeated to a spouse, another close friend, or parent. Knowing this has always left me feeling resentful. No matter how many times they swear on their lives they’ll keep your secrets safe for all eternity. So, how do you cope with this knowledge? Is it healthy to keep everything inside and deal with it on your own? 

No. 

I definitely have much experience myself with this response and it gets you nowhere fast. It consumes you and weighs you down all at once. The best thing to do (for me at least) when you’re going through a very stressful and complicated manner is to channel your frustration and emotions into something productive. Allow yourself to process those feelings and be your own best friend. 

As an overly introverted person most of my time spent alone is in contentment. As many of you know, I play guitar, I was a professional cook which lead me to food writing, I blog on 3 platforms and I play video games. I also love challenging myself each day to be just a little better than I was yesterday. I may not be perfect physically, mentally or emotionally, but I am a good person and through much trial and error have learned to be there for myself and enjoy my very own company. I also enjoy your company as well and find much entertainment with my online friends and really wish I knew a lot of you in real life and very much so enjoy entertaining you some how, or at least cheering you up for a bit with something I write play or cook. 

I wish I could be the friend you need. So many of you I correspond with online confess how lonely you are and I really wish I could be your best friend and be that person you assume I am due to interaction online. Since I can’t be that person for everyone I can at least give you advice from my heart and what works for me at this moment. 

Be your own best friend and learn self respect, then live by those standards. Don’t settle for company simply because they are there. I know it’s difficult at times when you’re isolated, but instead of crossing our arms because the world isn’t cooperating how we’d like it to, we can at LEAST be there for ourselves. Why do we beat ourselves up so much when we’ve been the most loyal to ourselves more than anyone else has? 

Maybe that is the step into the right direction and out of isolation after all. I see so many generic “love yourself” quotes online but I think when you stop rolling your eyes at the surface of those quotes and really do some self reflecting your paradigm is in the right place of changing. 

I wish all of us the best of luck, 

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