I’ve been a gamer for most of my life. During early childhood, puberty and adolescence, never have I had to or have been categorized as a ‘female’ gamer. Not once was I made to feel anything more or less than a fellow friend who also enjoys vidya. I wasn’t put down for my gender and I honestly wouldn’t have understood the joke if I were. Gaming as a girl back in my day wasn’t an insult or alluring. Sure, if you had a crush on ‘said girl’ in particular I’d imagine, but doesn’t that rule apply to everyone?
Unfortunately as a 30-something adult woman, I feel compelled to speak up, not on behalf of female gamers because it would be insulting to their intelligence, but for myself. Unfortunately, in this case, I grit my teeth and speak up as… a female who happens to play video games. I cringe and stand up to say this, not with pride, but with the utter embarrassment due to the not-so-adultlike reactions of the new wave feminist movement who find it vital for their own m̶e̶n̶t̶a̶l̶ ̶h̶e̶a̶l̶t̶h̶ profit to meddle in gaming and speak on my behalf.
Yet anytime I’ve spoken up on my own behalf cordially I’ve been blocked online by many of these “female gamers and devs” who’ve either ignored my refute or have declared I was only interested in gaming for male attention because all of us are twerking for Twitch donations while pretending to play League of Legends/CS:GO whilst making our fathers proud.
That’s empowering though. Not that I necessarily feel better about writing a blog post. I’m not brave for it. Nobody is holding a fucking gun to my head and telling me NOT to write this shit. If anything, it’s pretty pathetic that I’ve decided to drink the kool-aid.
Gaming didn’t offend me; it helped me. Video games apparently trigger, offend, and shatter the spines of women, like myself, who are insecure about their bodies. Me, the person who grew up needing video games as an escape. Not once have I ever been triggered by a sexy female character and as a person who unfortunately lived through physical and mental abuse as a child, not once was I triggered by a sinister scene or tournament fighter, which I played avidly and considered competing as a teenager.
It’s discouraging to see so many game developers/publishers castrate themselves and hand over their balls to these people in fear of backlash in the media which they control. It’s upsetting because these people, who do NOT play video games, are speaking up on my behalf and as a consequence, ALL of us have to abide by these actions. The consumers, life-long and new coming fans cringe and miss out while the apathetic feminist game devs and supporters who’ve never invested their free time and money into gaming for leisure simply use gaming as a niche market. They speak on behalf of female gamers like myself for profit, but when I disagree, my voice is no longer important.
As someone who is at times an insecure female, who has endured a lot of bad shit in her life like so many of us have, I find much joy in many games of different genres, and not once have I ever felt intimidated by a female character nor have I suffered a deficiency in a lack of female protagonists despite my many self accountable feminine insecurities or being a bit of a socially anemic geek who was unrelatable to the masses anyway.